Swim!
by Hydra no Mago
Summary: "Why me?" That would be the question that he asks when he wakes up, hoping that it wasn't true, hoping that his friend was at his side. Focused on RinXHaruka. Rating went up. Rated M for a reason.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Why me?

Why of all the people in this world, it had to be me?

Why didn't it happen to those who deserved it?

Why did it happen to me?

Why is it me?

Why me?

Why?


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 – My previous life

The water caressed me. It caressed my arms, my body, my face. It swirled my hair in it. It lets me swim. I relish the feeling of water on my skin, soft and calm and comforting. My hands were pushing through it, allowing me passageway. My feet were kicking, kicking me forward. I was swimming like I hadn't a care in the world, and I really didn't.

I could see the wall on the side of the pool and I curled myself into a ball, feet kicking the wall to propel myself forward. As I did so, I could feel a mild rush of ecstasy blast through me. That fast feeling of shooting through the water gave me the adrenaline I needed to finish off the final lap.

I popped my head out of the water, drinking air into my lungs. "Nice job there, Haru." Standing there with his hand stretched out was an ecru-haired male with a tanned body. He was tall, heavily-built and his muscles were ripping. "Right." I took his hand and heaved myself out of the pool. The one standing before me was none other than Makoto, my longest childhood friend. He gave me one of his joyful smiles.

"Heeyyy!~ Don't forget about meeee!~" A platinum blonde pushed himself out of the water, goggles hanging loosely in his hand. His hot pink eyes faked a look of sadness. "Makoto! You always go off with Haru-chan on your own!~" He gave a slight pout which earned a small laugh from the ecru-haired male.

"Sorry about that, Nagisa." replied Makoto.

The blonde plastered a big grin on his face and hooked his hands behind him. "That's okay Makoto!" he said in his sing-song voice. "But Haru-chan really does remind me of a dolphin when he swims!~"

Makoto nodded in agreement. "Yep, and you look like a penguin!"

Nagisa was dramatic once again. "I must be the CUTE-est penguin in the world!~" Which was true, in a sense. Nagisa looked more like a girl than a guy, with his blonde locks, pale skin and lithe figure. You couldn't know if he was a guy, unless of course, you saw him take a skinny dip before.

While the two were still chatting about... well, about nothing in general, I had to take another dip in the pool. With a splash, I was in the cool, calming waves once more, the water relaxing my mind. I was floating and floating, floating away to a calmer world...

"Aah! Again, Haru-chan?" shouted Makoto form the other side of the pool.  
Ignoring it.  
"Isn't it okay? Since he looks so relaxed!~" commented Nagisa.  
I just wanted to float away.

**Sorry for the OOC-ness guys. Please review! **


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – The person that I don't-know-what-to-feel-for

The bathwater was warmer than the pool's. Not to mention that the bath was way too small for a pool. But I like it anyway. It's better than to not be in water at all. I looked down at my reflection. Jet-black hair, a toned body and aqua eyes. '_Eyes the colour of water_' someone once told me. I shook my head. No. I will not think about it. But all I could see was his face on the surface of the water, not mine. His messed-up yet silky cerise hair, his thin lips, his abnormally sharp teeth, his pale skin, his muscles, and most of all, his eyes. His beaming red eyes so full of passion. The smile that had always grazed his lips when we were younger.

I splashed my reflection away and got out of the tub, grabbing the sky blue towel draped over a hanger and began to dry myself. I shook off all the excess water from my hair and dried that first, closing my eyes. But I couldn't close them for long, because his image would just haunt me again.

The fish was frying on the pan. It sizzled loudly when I added a little oil onto it, splattering oils onto my apron. I didn't want to get my clothing dirtied. I flipped the fish over, letting it fry on the other side as well. I took a bite of the already fried squid that I made not long ago. Mm, crunchy. I grabbed another piece of squid and popped it in my mouth while waiting for the oil on the pan to do its work. '_Haru makes the best seafood!_' I stopped short and almost dropped the spatula in my hand. Why was he in my head now? '_Haha! No one can beat Haru in cooking!_' I clutched my head with my free hand. We were younger then, that was the past. I am living in the present. I am living in the present. But it seems, that the past has come back to haunt me. Smoke was emitting from the fish.

"Hey Haru, want to race?" A small boy came walking up, a grin on his face, revealing his sharp teeth. Against the blue of the water and the pool, he seemed so out of place with his cerise hair and bright red eyes. But he was wearing swimming trunks and had a pair of goggles around his head.

Before I could say anything though, he was already in the water. "I only swim freestyle" I sated bluntly. I didn't want to have anything to do with this kid.

"Alrighty then! Let's swim freestyle from here and back!" he declared and pointed to the end of the pool. "Just one lap!"

I gave in at last, seeing that I was itching to go into the water again. Besides, the cerise haired kid sounded very convincing.

A lap became two and two laps became three. Before any of us realised it, the cerise haired boy, Rin, was already a part of our group that consisted of Makoto, Nagisa and I. Rin and I raced almost every chance we got. But as time passed, it no longer felt like a race. More like two friends just swimming for the heck of it. Rin was passionate and bright, in contrast to my own calm and cool attitude. Hey, I know what people talk about me behind my back. Rin was like a flaming hot fireball, and I was like the cool water we swam in every day. And yet,... and yet we both got along better than anyone ever would.

But the Rin I've been seeing for these past few days is different. He's changed a lot. Until the point where my voice can no longer reach out to him. I tossed in my bed.

Rin, where have you gone?


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Stupid medical jargon

"You have Fibrodysplasia Ossificians Progressiva." said the doctor cloaked in white solemnly. We stared at him like he was crazy, spouting some stupid medical jargon.

After a few moments of staring blankly at the poor man, Nagisa raised his hand. Why did he do that? We weren't in the classroom. "Um... doctor, what does that mean?"

The doctor gave a soft sigh and readjusted his glasses. "Basically, it means that your friend here has Stone Man Syndrome, an extremely rare disease of the connective tissue." The doctor glanced at me and continued his speech. "A mutation of the body's repair mechanism causes the fibrous tissue to be ossified when damaged. In many cases, injuries cause joints to be permanently frozen in place." Makoto had a more than worried look on his face and Nagisa wasn't as bright as usual. "In other words, it is a disease which causes damaged soft tissue to regrow as bone. Patients are slowly imprisoned by their own skeletons."

I sat on the white bed with the white walls and white curtains. Everything was a blinding white, like I was already dead and in heaven. I held my hands up to my face and stared at them for a long time. The doctor's words came back to me. '_Patients are slowly imprisoned by their own skeletons._' That was happening to me. Right now. At this instant.

Makoto and Nagisa had left a while ago, after persuading them that I would be alright. Makoto had offered to bring me food and keep me up to date with my schoolwork and Nagisa had helped me contact my parents and temporarily take over as vice-president of the swim club. Thanking them, Makoto and Nagisa squeezed me in a tight hug. I felt the tears prickling my eyes but managed to force them down again. They really are good friends.

We were swimming as usual that day, Makoto trying to get all his steps in order and Nagisa swimming and whining about getting a new club member. Kou had asked him who he had in mind, and Nagisa immediately spouted out a name which I have never heard of. Rei. Must be a freshman. I was swimming, naturally. Freestyle.

When I reached the end of my lap, however, I felt a sharp pain in my leg. I suspected it as a cramp and decided to shrug it off. Makoto could sense my unease easily. I never got to let any of my sicknesses slip pass him. "Are you okay, Haru-chan?" I gave him a brief nod, but it looked like he didn't believe me in the slightest.

Two weeks later, it became serious.

The doctor shook his head sadly. "No, there is no known cure for the Stone Man syndrome."

"Can't you do something about it?" Makoto gripped the sheet on the bed tightly.

"I'm afraid I can't."

"What about surgery?" asked the ever-knowing Nagisa.

"Any attempts to surgically remove the bones result in more robust bone growth." The doctor looked uncomfortable. "To undergo surgery would be cutting down his time."

There was a heavy silence. "S-so,... we have to watch him die?" Nagisa's eyes were tearing up. Makoto grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

The doctor closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm afraid so."

_

**A bit confusing this chapter is. I tried to make it a cliffhanger but discovered that I stink at it.  
Anyway, please rate and review!**


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Who visits?

A shred of light comes in through the white curtains. The sun is rising. I tossed to the other side of the bed, yet I couldn't stop looking at that shred of light. Thin as a wire, like my hope.

As the days pass me by, my illness gets worse. At first, it was my foot that was unable to move. It moved up to my leg, freezing it now. My left leg is useless. Worst of all, I can't swim. Soaking in the bath isn't enough. Just when we had established the club, just when we had the outdoor pool for ourselves, just when I thought I could swim again, just when I thought I could meet him, all this happened. '_Mutation of the genes..._' Why is it me? '_No cure or treatment for it..._' Why did it have to be me? '_Trapped in his own skeleton._' I thumped my fist on the bed, making the mattress jump. Why me?

~. ~. ~. ~. ~

There was a knock on the door. "Haru-chan?" Makoto and Nagisa walked into my room. Makoto had a huge stack of bentos in one hand and a bag of books in the other. Nagisa had brought a blue and white binder with him, probably about the swim club. It has been four months now. Four months since the day I found out that my foot was unable to move. Four months I have been stuck here, unable to swim an inch. Four months Makoto and Nagisa came visiting everyday without fail. Four months, and I haven't heard a word form him. "Haru-chan? Are you okay?" asked Nagisa with those eyes of his. I nodded. I'm okay. I'll be okay.

~. ~. ~. ~. ~

The club was doing well. Other than the freshman that Nagisa had wanted to drag (his name was Rei I think), Makoto and Kou had gotten a few more members. A seinor at our school, Yamamoto Tora was joining. There was another called Kinkyouku Gin, a freshman. They also managed to rope in Watanabe and Hiroko form our class.

Other than that, my homework was piling up day by day. What was the point of doing it, since I was never going to walk again. I looked down at my hands. There will come a day when I won't be able to hold a pen again. A day where I can't even move my neck. And that day is closing in, little by little. I wonder for a brief moment as I set down my book, what will happen if I was smiling when my face froze? Would it be stuck that way forever? Creepy.

~. ~. ~. ~. ~

Moonlight, when it shone into the room, made the world seem less cruel. I had had a long and relaxing bath, with a leg still unable to move. The room was quiet since I didn't have any roommates. How many people from the same district could have the same extremely rare disease in the same hospital? Not many if I thought about it.

The time on the digital clock showed 2a.m. The green digits on the screen were like eyes in the dark, glowing at me. There was a sound coming from the window. My eyelids felt so heavy. Yet I couldn't bring myself to sleep. Something was nagging at the back of my mind, begging me not to sleep, to find out what it was at the window, but my eyes were closing quickly. The last I remembered was seeing a flash of white teeth and the whispered words "Haru...".


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 – Was it really real?

"Rise and shine, Haruka-kun!~" I blinked several times as afternoon light flooded in. "Come on, it's time for your meds!~" As usual, she was dressed in her stark white uniform. White dress, white cap, white gloves. Her name is Ayano. Nurse Ayano. She's been in charge of me since day one. She's a really nice person overall. Just a little too perky. Like Nagisa.

I pulled the covers over my head to block the light. "Morning." I muttered. I was just too sleepy.

With a sudden yank, Nurse Ayano pulled the covers up, making me blink again. "Wake up, Haruka-kun!~"With practiced movements, she folded the blanket neatly into a rectangle.

I waited until my pupils adjusted to the light and rubbed the dirt out of my eyes. I proceeded to crack my fingers and stretch my arms. Arching my back, I could hear my spine give a _pop_ sound. I looked down to my legs. One was moving, the other was not. I scowled at the sight. How pathetic I've become.

Nurse Ayano must've caught my scowl. In a swift movement, she managed to hit my head with her hand and place the meds in my mouth when I tried to say 'Ow'. Passing me a cup of water, I accepted it and swallowed the meds quickly. Yuck. They tasted like socks which have been left in the locker for a year.

"Don't scowl. It's your body, you know." Nurse Ayano was strict when it came to these things. "No matter what, it'll be yours."

I nodded, what I really wanted to ask was that if I would live long enough to appreciate my body more. But I clamped my mouth shut. Ayano was very sentimental. I guess that's what makes her so lovable by staff and patients alike.

She smiled brightly at me. "That's the spirit!~" She gave me a pat on the head and headed out. The time read 12:45 pm on the digital clock. I did sleep a lot. "Oh, and take care of that mosquito bite Haruka-kun!~" called Ayano as she closed the door. At first, I merely nodded. _Wait, what mosquito bite? _Picking up a hand mirror from one of the drawers of the cabinet, I scanned myself. I was about to give up when I felt a warm sensation at the base of my neck. I stripped off my pyjama top.

_That's a mosquito bite?_ No way. I might love water and act cold as I want, oblivious to the world, but even I'm not that stupid. That thing on my neck was no mosquito bite. It was a hickey. A big fat hickey.

~.~.~.~

After several times of blushing and panicking, I managed to calm down by taking a soak in the tub. That hickey was still there though.

First question, where did I get a hickey?

Next, who would be so willing to give me a hickey?

Third, why in heaven's name didn't I notice it?!

I sighed into my hand. _My hand_. I sniffed it again. There was that smell. That smell which I had missed for four months. The smell of chlorine. The sweet smell of pool water. _How? _I wasn't hallucinating. If I was, I wouldn't have been able to feel the water's caress. I'm sure I didn't sleepwalk and go to the pool. If I did, the night staff would've caught me. Leaning onto my walking stick, I wondered what happened.

~.~.~.~

Then it came flashing back to me.

Last night.

Sounds at the window.

Heavy eyelids.

White teeth.

Someone calling my name.

_Someone calling my name_. I recognised that voice. But the mere thought of that person coming to visit me is preposterous! Not to mention sneaking into the window of my room at night. That would be utter idiocy. I could feel the start of a blush forming on my cheeks.

_White teeth. White **sharp** teeth. Flowing hair. **Red** flowing hair._

I violently shook my head. No way it was him. It could never be. After all, he and I had become rivals. He was not my friend anymore. Even if he was, why would he give me a hickey then? But a small part of me, a tiny part at the back of my heart was telling me that yes, it is who I think it is.

_It's Rin._

No matterhow ridiculous this sounds, I have a feeling, an unshakable feeling that it is my rival, my ex-friend. That it was the person that I had loved. Lightly, I touched the hickey. It was definitely him. There was a warmth to it, a warmth that no one had. A warmth which could be found at my hickey and at my hand.

**Sorry for the late update guys!  
Thank you for following up on my story so far! I promise that I'll try to upload new chapters quicker!**


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – Stake-out

My plan was ready. I had taken an extremely long afternoon nap, lazing around in bed. Nurse Ayano came to check up on me a few times and had quite a hard time trying to get my ass up from bed. I refused and told her that it boiled down to fatigue.

Who was I kidding? I did nothing but lay in bed all day for the past four months now. What kind of fatigue would I be possibly experiencing?

Nurse Ayano accepted the excuse after my insisting. Looks like she could tell that something was wrong with me. I was grateful to her for not pressing me for any more information.

I wouldn't know if I could've told her what I had found out.

~.~.~.~

Just to have a recap, I found a hickey on the base of my neck this morning, as big and fat as a mosquito bite. I also smelled a strong whiff of chlorine on my hand, chlorine which came form a pool. I have a suspect to all this: Matsuoka Rin. My rival and ex-friend. But I have high doubts to whether or not it was really him, or just my imagination.

As of such, I have hatched a plan that will help put my mind at ease.

By sleeping the afternoon away, I now have the energy to stay up all night if necessary. A stake-out basically. If the culprit doesn't show up, I can always wait tomorrow night. I have time to kill on my hands anyway. I grabbed the weapon in my hand tightly. If it was a pervert, it would be his last late night outing.

I hoped that my plan would work.

~.~.~.~

The wind blew chilly that night. The moon was split in half, casting half of the world in shadow. I lay on my white hospital bed and soft pillow which I have been occupying for more than four months now. At first, they felt extremely uncomfortable, unlike my own bed which was sitting in my room. But I guess I got used to it. They now fit me snugly, even the blanket.

A glance at the clock showed that it was 2:12 pm. Good, the culprit came at about this time late last night. Unlike last night, I was fully prepared. I had a nap so my eyelids weren't heavy. I hid the weapon and my hand under my pillow, ready to strike if it was a pervert.

What I hadn't prepared, was my heart.

If it was a pervert, I could fend off myself easily since it was only my left leg that was immobile. But if it was Rin...

I felt some heat at the back of my neck. _Even if it was him, I have to execute my plan the same._

The clock showed 2:53 pm. I was about to give up when I heard a faint scratching sound at the window. Quickly, I shut my eyes and pretended to sleep.

Whoever it was, I was going to get to the bottom of this.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – It's you?

"What th-?!" The cerise haired male stood there with his hands in the air, his eyes wide in disbelief. A butter knife was held near his throat as the blade glistened in the moonlight. "H-haru, it's me." I knew that voice. I have been dreaming about that voice. I have been waiting for the day when that voice would utter my name again. That deep and husky voice.

I knew it, yet I chose not to believe it. "Rin?"

~.~.~.~

Someone was prying open the window. The scratching sounds have stopped, the sound of the window sliding open came next. Weirdly, I heard no footsteps. The culprit was like a cat as he/she padded his/her way across the white tiled floor. I opened my eyes to slits, not wanting the culprit to know that I was awake. Didn't even want to shift in my bed for fear of the culprit running away. Closer the figure approached the bed, his/her shadow becoming bigger on the white sheets.

_Just a little more..._

There was about five feet left.

_A little more..._

Three feet.

_Almost there..._

Two feet.

_Come on..._

When the culprit was standing at the foot of the bed, I tossed my blanket at him/her and pulled out the butter knife I stole from the kitchen. _Sorry, chef. _Immediately, I pointed the blade to the throat of the culprit.

I had the culprit once and for all.

Until I realized that my worst fears and deepest dreams had come true. Standing before me in the half moonlight was none other than Rin.

I would've taken the pervert instead.

~.~.~.~

Cerise hair, glistening shark-like teeth, red orbs. No doubt about it, it was Rin. I felt my breath catch, unable to breath for a moment. Here was Rin right in front of me. Right now. But why was he in my room? In the middle of the night?

"Haru" he breathed. Ugh, my name just sounded so nice when he said it with his deep and sex- Nope! Not going to think about it!

Here's my next thought: Rin must've come to prank me. Bearing in mind that the Rin wasn't like the caring Rin from before. He's changed. Drastically. Yep, the only logical explanation around. Why else would he be here? But just in case, asking wouldn't hurt. "Why the hell are you doing in my room?" I tried to look as fierce and pissed off as I could. My tone of voice was right on the dot, but I could feel my cheeks heating up looking at Rin's toned muscles, strong jawline, sculpted lips... all just too distracting!

"Coming for a late night visit?" he shrugged nonchalantly. At least he still had a sense of humour.

"And you couldn't use the door?"

"Uh... it was locked?"

I threatened to severe his veins by holding the blade closer until it almost cut into his pale flesh.

"Okay, okay!" he put his hands up higher. "I surrender!"

"That still doesn't answer the question." Yes, I was back to my cold self. This would be good.

"I came here to visit you, Haru. Honestly." his voice was getting coarse.

"And how do you expect me to believe a lie like that?"

He shook his head and sighed. "What can I say to make you believe me then?" Exasperated.

"That's for you to decide, isn't it?" I wouldn't let go of the knife just yet.

Rin stared at me with those fiery eyes of his. I could feel myself burn under his gaze.I had never won any staring competitions between us before. Probably because Rin's gaze was always too intense. Too hot.

Rin scratched the back of his head. "You're just the same as always, Haru."

"Well, you've changed a lo-... !" Somehow, the cerise haired male had managed to twist the knife out of my hand and kiss me. KISS me. A GUY. This was so wrong on so many levels. The knife clattered onto the tiled floor.

I tried to push him away, tried to retain some of my dignity, but Rin had his iron grip on me. His hand was grabbing my shoulder and the other was still holding on to my hand which held the knife a moment ago.

But it was more like, I didn't really want to let go.

I could feel Rin's tongue touching the bottom of my lip, begging for entrance. It was licking, twisting, twirling. Unwillingly (or willingly), I opened my lips up slightly. Shark boy however, saw this as a chance and pushed his whole tongue into my mouth. The sudden rush of muscle into my mouth was suffocating. To exact revenge, I managed to push my piece of muscle into his mouth.

There our tongues were, dancing. Tongue against tongue. Muscle against muscle. Saliva mixed in with saliva. Hot breaths against each other. The smell of chlorine and medicine.

I was a swimmer. Nothing could've changed the fact that I had trained my lungs to go on without air for long periods of time. Same thing could be said for Rin. To be in the water, to feel its caress, you had to give up a few precious moments of air.

And the kiss was worth my few precious moments of air. When we pulled away, panting heavily due to the lack of oxygen in our lungs, I spotted a trail of translucent liquid. Saliva connected us still until I wiped it off. My cheeks were burning.

There was a moment of silence before Rin broke it. "Heh, believe me now?"

I was still wiping the saliva off my lips. But the taste of Rin was still in my mouth. A taste of chlorine and something sweet.

Seeing that I was still panting and had no answer for him, Rin spoke up. "Thought so."

"Don't you have some explaining to do?" It was all I could come up with at the moment.

"Yes, Yes I do owe you an explanation." He grabbed a chair and sat near me.

I gave him a frown. He wasn't even in my room for ten minutes and he acted as if he was welcome here already. I wanted to punch his lights out. In his case though, I think making him loose a few teeth will be sufficient.

"Haru," His voice pulled me back to my room. "I came to see you. That's all there is to it."

Putting on my best pokerface, I stared straight at him. Was he going to make me go through the whole process again? Inwardly I sighed. Was he a born idiot?

"I missed you, Haru."

That, however, changes things.

"What?"


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 – This is very wrong

I gave a sarcastic half laugh. "You _missed_ me?" Making sure I stressed on the word, I wanted him to know the pain too. "Rin, you've never missed any of us." My tone was getting sharper. "When you were off studying in Australia, have even thought about writing to any one of us? Makoto? Nagisa? Me? You didn't even give us a phone call." I could see some hurt on his face. "You came back, but never contacted us and the only time you came to see me was for that stupid race." Rin's eyes were covered with pain. But to me, telling Rin off was something I wanted to do for years now.

"Look Haru, I'm sorry for all those things I've done but I can't change the fucking past." He rested his chin in the palm of his hand.

"Are you really sorry?"

He clicked his tongue. "Of course I am." He was getting exasperated.

I laced and unlaced my fingers together. Was Rin really sorry? Or is this just another game? My lips still held his scent.

"Haru," his tone softened.

"I'm not a child, you know."

He shut his eyes. "Just, listen. Please."

Fine. I was all ears right now, he could say whatever he wants to and I can just retort. I have the whole night. I crossed my arms.

Rin took a deep breath. "Haru, for one I really did miss you guys. Makoto, Nagisa and you. But I never did write or call. That is something I can't change. Maybe I was too stuck on the swimming competitions there that I stopped everything else." Rin shifted uncomfortably in his chair. " But I did think about you guys... No, it would be more correct to say that all I could think about during all of my fucking years there was you, Haru."

"Aren't you being too dramatic?" All he could think about was me? Somehow that sentence gives me a strange feeling. Like before going for a competition.

Lightly, the cerise haired male touched my cheek, holding my gaze. "Haru, I love you."

My pupils widened. I could feel my insides break down. "Rin, we're both guys." I managed to say a little breathlessly.

"So what? Can't a guy love a guy?" A small smile was playing on his lips. "I love you, Nanase Haruka. That's all there is to it."

His eyes were full of sincerity and pain and love. My heart was thumping in my chest. The beats were so loud I wonder if Rin could hear them.

_Rin loves me._

On an impulse, I placed my lips on Rin's, earning a surprised look from the other youth. This time, our mouths opened willingly, both of us locked in a dance of our tongues. I could feel Rin's breath against mine. I could feel his ragged cerise locks of hair. I could feel his toned muscles rip beneath the fabric of his shirt. I could feel everything, including Rin's hardened member. With a dull throb, I noticed that my own was hard as well.

"Need me to help you with that Haru?" Rin teasingly asked.

"Shut up." My face was flushed from the exertion and embarrassment.

I felt a hand being placed on my cock. "No need to be shy, Haru." Rin placed a kiss on my cheek and my cock throbbed achingly.

From my cheek, Rin slowly trailed kisses along my jawline, down to my throat. "R-rin..."

His kisses went all the way to the base of my throat, where he had left a hickey the night before. He smirked into my shoulder. "You're still keeping this?"

"A-and whose fault do you think it is?" It felt good.

Rin circled his tongue around the hickey and I almost let out a moan. Luckily I managed to stifle it with my hand. He licked and bit it, giving it a redder appearance. His sharp teeth almost pierced my flesh.

Rin took my hand in his. "Don't. I want to hear your sounds." He kissed my neck again and a soft moan escaped my lips. He tilted my head and I was forced to look into his eyes. They were glazed over with lust, just as mine. "That's much better, Haru."

~.~.~.~

The rest escalated pretty quickly. As this is somewhat of an autobiography, I really don't want to go any further, ladies and gentlemen (if there are any here). I am sorry to disappoint.

It was just way too embarrassing!

[Let me just say that it all came with Rin sucking on my nipples, we explored each other's bodies a lot, he gave me a blowjob and I helped him jerk off with my hands, and he penetrated me. And I screamed. And he hit my prostate and it just felt so damn _good_. He came all over my back though, not inside me. And after that, there was a lot of touching and cajoling and 'playing'.]

Yep, Rin back afterwards, when the sun was just about up and promised to visit me again, during the day and at night. He got out of the window but not before he could kiss me again.

My ex-friend become rival become secret lover. I miss him already.

One thing I sure will get him for next time: My arse is still sore.


	10. Chapter 9

**Minna-san, I am so sorry that I took so long to update! '' **

**I was a little too busy that I forgot to upload the latest chapter! I'll make it up to you somehow!**

Chapter 9 – Peaceful days; growing pain

The days passed like flowing water. Pages of the calendar got torn off one by one. They piled up, higher and higher until it was turning into a mini-sized mountain.

And with each of the passing days, my friends never let me down. They came and visited, keeping me company. Makoto and Nagisa had even dragged Kou, a promising member named Rei who swam the butterfly style and Ama sensei, whenever she could take a day off of her busy schedule.

Rin had started visiting in the day too. He came with his younger sister, the swim club's manager. Every time the cerise-haired siblings came in, my eyes would always linger on one of them. Linger for far too long. Meeting Rin in broad daylight for the first time had angered Nagisa and Makoto got protective. After a lot of explanation later (and a few arguments), we had everything down. Well, sort of. Makoto and Nagisa were still quite mad at him for going to Australia and never keeping in contact with us.

As the days progressed, my sickness spread further. It has been fifteen months. A year and three months. Both my legs were totally immobile now, I'm stuck in bed. They feel like weights that I have to drag around. The more I look at them, the more pained I felt. These were the legs that I used to swim with. The very legs that I trained with all my might so that I could swim smoothly in the water with freestyle. They are useless now.

~.~.~.~

"What's so nice about the plain view out there?" Rin asked while he chewed on a meat bun. His teeth and tongue were sharp as usual.

"It's something that I can look at." I rested my chin in my hand while keeping my eyes glued to the scenery outside. And by scenery, I mean that all I can see is a tree and an empty expanse of rubble. The hospital was located by a few dilapidated old houses.

Rin flopped onto the bed with me and looked in the same direction as I did. "There's nothing there." he said as he took another bite out of his meat bun.

"Better than white walls." I answered. "At least this has colour."

The other youth clasped his fingers onto my chin and turned my head around so that my blue eyes would meet his flaming red ones. "Why don't you take a look at me instead?" His whisper was low, sexy and seductive.

I felt tingles going down my spine. I took his face in my hand and kissed his eyelids. They fluttered immediately to close when my lips landed on them and they fluttered open when it was over, like butterflies. Speaking of butterflies, I felt some flying around in my stomach already. Given that we have been going out for some time now, a kiss wouldn't be much of a surprise.

Rin nipped my ear and I let out a soft yelp. I still can't get used to that. "That wasn't fair, Haru."

"Why not?" Rin's teeth sure are sharp.

"I couldn't see you for a second or two there." Rin has this very odd, I might say, behaviour. He always likes to keep his eyes open, even if slightly, during a kiss. Out of curiosity, I asked him once why he did so. "I love your expression when we kiss." He had stated it so blatantly that I couldn't help but blush.

"Not my problem."

He smirked into my ear. "Never could force you to do anything, Haru."

"And you never will, Rin."

The cerise haired male gave a final smirk then turned to glance at his watch.

"Have to go?" Truth was, I started to feel lonely whenever Rin had to go to school. I do hope that he can ace his studies and everything, but there's this small selfish part of me that wants to keep my lover right beside me for all of time.

"Yep. Coach wants to make us do a relay practice after the first period." Getting up, Rin finished his meat bun and licked his lips.

"Good luck with it." And then added "You'd better be going. If you're late, then your Physics teacher would grill you."

Rin laughed a little. "True, true." Bending down, he pecked my cheek. "Love you, Haru."

"Love you too."

Grabbing his school bag, Rin swiftly made his way out the door and down the hallways. I listened and waited until I heard the pitter patter of his footsteps fade away into the elevator. The _ding_ sound signaled that he was gone.

Sliding my eyes out to the window again, I looked at the rubble. They looked my legs now. Old and useless.

And then I remembered everyone else. Their support. Their friendship.

I wish that these peaceful days would continue forever.


	11. Chapter 10

**As an apology for my late updates, I posted two chapters in two days!  
Thank you to all who have favourited, reviewed and read my story! ^^**

Chapter 10 – Happy Birthday

"Still looking at that boring old scenery?" Rin asked.

The day was a cloudy one with a forecast of rain. Thunder rumbled in the distance.

"Shouldn't you be getting to school? Any later and the rain will start to come down."

Just when Rin was about to open his mouth to retort, there was a purple flash and a violent sound of thunder vibrated in the room, causing both of us to jump at the suddenness of it all.

"Yeah, I guess so." Rin rubbed the back of his head. "Ne, Haru..."

"What?" My eyes were somewhat transfixed onto a cat which was walking around. It jumped onto a low fence and entered the premises of one of the dilapidated houses. As if sensing I was watching it, it turned to look in my direction, tail up, whiskers twitched. I held my breath. After a long hard look, it decided that it was safe to move on and disappeared into the rubble.

"Hey, Haru!" Rin clicked his fingers rapidly in front of my face.

I Brushed them away in annoyance. "What?"

"You weren't even listening." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Yes, I was."

"Okay, tell me what I asked you."

"..." I really hadn't listened. The cat had my attention all this time. "Swimming."

Rin sighed softly and his arms drooped to his sides. He mumbled something incoherent, but I was sure as heaven or hell that it was something about me and swimming. "I asked what do you want for your birthday."

Now that Rin mentioned it, I hadn't really noticed how fast time flew. That would've made it eighteen months in the hospital now. The sickness has spread to a few of my left and right fingers.

Speaking of which, remember when I said that when the sickness spread my face would be glued to one expression until I died? Turns out, that it doesn't have to come to that. Doctor says that when the disease reaches my heart, I would've been dead already. Never really thought about that.

There still was some time before my birthday, about three weeks. I stared up at the white ceiling which I had grown accustomed to, looking at it night after night. Unfortunately for me, no answers could be found on the ceiling, not even a shred of inspiration.

I turned back to Rin, staring into his red orbs. "I want you."

Rin snickered. Pink dusted his cheeks. "You already have me." He ruffled my hair. "What do you want? Something that you don't have."

I looked down to my hands. I wanted more time. I wanted to live longer. I wanted to make it until Christmas at least. But no matter how much I wanted these things, my wish would never be granted. "I already have everything that I want."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes." Yes, I have everything that I want.

Rin seemed to be thinking it over for a while. "Don't you want to go to a pool?" Rin knew better than to ask if I wanted to swim. It was a sensitive subject. Had to give him credit for turning this whole conversation towards water without mentioning the word 'swimming'.

"Maybe." Once again, my thoughts flew to those days. The days when I could still swim. The days when my legs still worked. "Just a maybe."

Rin kept quiet and nodded. He took a look at the sky through the windows. It was growing darker by the minute, if that were even possible. When Rin turned around, the sound of the first drops of rain started to fall on the window plane.

"Oh, shit." mumbled Rin as he hastily kissed me goodbye and ran out the door.

"Rin!" I shouted from my place in bed. "Your bag!"

Turning a sharp corner, he entered my room again, grabbed his bag, thanked me and left.

Really, Rin was cute too.

~.~.~.~

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HARU!" Confetti in gleaming colours were thrown over my head. It fluttered and fell like sakura petals in the spring. Too bad my birthday falls on the 30th of June. It's summer then. But summer is the perfect time for swimming in the sea.

At least people were still celebrating my birthday. And they were good at it too. Makoto was in charge of most of the preparations, since he was my closest friend. Fish was prepared. A lot of it. From salmon to mackerel to tuna. They were laid out in bentos which were supplied by Kou. Nagisa, Rei and Ama sensei were put in charge of all the decorations. They briefly decorated my hospital room while Nurse Ayano took me out for a stroll in my wheelchair.

From the kitchen, Nurse Ayano and Ama sensei brought out a huge vanilla cream cake with peaches, strawberries, kiwi, prunes and hot chocolate sauce on it. The words 'Happy Birthday' were painted on with blue mint frosting.

Rin and Makoto had somehow managed to sneak in a couple bottles of sparkling blue champagne without the hospital staff noticing. When I looked to Nurse Ayano, she gave me a knowing smile. Figures.

"Here's to Haru, our favourite swimmer!~" proposed Nagisa as everyone went in for the toast. And for the briefest of moments, in the midst of all their smiles, I found myself smiling and forgetting the disease I had, the sickness, the part where I would eventually die. All I could think about was that moment.


	12. Chapter 11

**Yes, I am on a roll here! **

**Thank you to all who have read, favourited, reviewed and are following this!**

Chapter 11 – A pool

Once again, I was back to staring out of my window. Wind was blowing in through the window, making the white curtains flow like water. The sun was big and bright in the sky, shedding sunlight down onto the earth.

Shedding light onto the earth, and shedding light onto the pool.

Where the rubble had been a week ago, there now stood a pool. A real pool with real water with real people. Real everything.

My birthday was a week ago.

~.~.~.~

I unwrapped one of the last presents form my friends. It was wrapped up in a simple kind of aqua wrapping paper. Tearing the last bit of paper off, I found a full set of swim trunks and blue-ish goggles. The guests in the room seem shocked. Why a swim trunk and goggles when I couldn't swim? But I smiled. "Thank you, Makoto." I knew exactly what he was up to.

The ecru haired male returned my smile. "We'll go swimming again, right Haru?" After all this time, Makoto seemed to cling onto that.

I gave a brief nod and everyone in the room relaxed.

Out of all the birthday presents, I got a cake from Nurse Ayano and Ama sensei, a soft and fluffy dolphin plush toy from Nagisa, a few books on sports from Rei, a stationary set for drawing from Kou and a pair of swim trunks and goggles from Makoto. All that was left was his present.

"Oh, now it's time for Rin-chan to give Haru-chan his present!~" said the cheerful Nagisa. Rin looked to me sheepishly at first. He pointed to the window. "Um... my present was a little too big to fit in the room." Makoto gave him a knowing smile.

Makoto and Rin walked over to the window, pulling back the white curtains. I could feel my eyes widening at the sight.

It was a pool.

It was a pool. The sun was setting, casting soft light onto the water, making everything look magical. The others were pretty surprised too. Nagisa and Kou's mouths were hanging open while Rei adjusted his glasses over and over. Ama sensei just stared disbelievingly at it.

"How?" I managed to squeeze out of my mouth.

Rin kept silent. Makoto shook his head and gave him a nudge. "Sorry, Haru. Rin thought you would get mad at him for this."

Get mad at him?

"In actuality, Rin came to my house one day and told me about his plan to build a swimming pool near the hospital. He said that you kept on looking at the boring old dilapidated houses out there, and that you would've liked to see a pool. So we came up with a plan. He would donate the money needed to build the pool and the pool would be given to the hospital eventually. All I had to do was keep you from looking out the window."

So that was why I kept hearing construction noises. They came in the morning and at night. I had thought that they were renovating the houses, but Rin actually went and did this.

"Where'd you get the money from, nii-chan?" asked Kou.

"The bank. It was from my account anyway." replied Rin. He was still afraid to look me in the eye.

"Built it in a week or two?" questioned Rei while he readjusted his glasses. "That's pretty quick, according to my calculations."

Rin clicked his tongue. "I hurried them to do it." His eyes glided to the pool. "It was important."

The water just shined so brilliantly. "Thank you, Rin."

Startled by the sound of my voice, he snapped his head up at me. Looks like he wasn't afraid anymore.

~.~.~.~

I have to admit, it does pain me a little that I didn't get to swim an inch, but looking at it everyday does wonders for my heart. Just the look of it calms me down, readying me for anything.

My boyfriend knows how to make me happy alright.


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 – On the other side

[ Rin's POV]

Twenty-three months. That's, what, a year and eleven months?

Anyway, twenty-three months. That's how long Haru held out for.

I always did wonder how he kept up until that long.

He didn't hold out until Christmas though. It was only our second Christmas together.

~.~.~.~

Black. There was black everywhere. Black suits, black shirts, black ties, black dresses, black blouses, black skirts, black hats, black shoes, black sunglasses. There was some white mixed in with it, but other than these colours, there was nothing.

His body was there, in a shiny wooden coffin, ready to be incinerated.

We all got a chance to have one last look at the Haru we all knew. But we were all just staring at an empty shell.

I mean, would all his distant relatives know Haru's little quirks just by looking at his dead body? The fact that he can't resist water? The fact that he loved to eat fish? The fact that he seemed to be cold and distant but he actually cared? The fact that he is a genius in drawing? The fact that his smile, although small, can warm up the coldest winter nights?

I don't think so.

Haru's face looked angelic. He wasn't wearing a smile, but his expression was that of when he was floating in water, ignorant to the world, floating in pure bliss. And I wanted, no, _needed_ him to stay ignorant.

I could feel the tears welling up again. Even though my eyes felt puffy and sore form last night's crying, the tears were coming for me again. My chest felt so painful. Everything inside it was constricting so badly.

~.~.~.~

Haru was sleeping. He was sleeping soundly now. Very soundly.

His chest didn't rise or fall with each breath he took. He wasn't breathing at all.

The machine to tell us Haru's heart rate was beside me, and I could hear the long _beep_ sound. His heart had stopped.

Funny, the beeping sound reminded me of that summer day when Haru, Makoto, Nagisa and I went cicada hunting.

I had called the nurses, but I knew that even the best surgeons wouldn't be able to do anything. _Incurable disease_. That's what the doctors have said. That's what everyone else had said. That's what Haru had said. And now, I believe it. It's incurable. There's no way to save him.

~.~.~.~

The fire was a scorching mix of red, orange, yellow and blue.

Blue, Haru's favourite colour.

They closed the incinerator, not wanting us to watch any longer.

The heat that was emitted form the machine was burning my skin. Burning my heart along with Haru.

The ashes, the remains of Haru's body were kept in a blue porcelain vase with a pattern of dolphins on it. "His grandmother's old vase" Haru's mother had said.

Taking it to the beach (it wasn't that far away since the funeral was held near the sea), Haru was set free. His parents had attempted to throw his remains into the water, but the wind had picked up and blew the ashes up into the sky until it disappeared from our sight.

Were the gods so cruel?

First, they diagnosed Haru with that bone disease. Then they didn't make a cure. When Haru's remains were about to hit the waves he loved the most, the gods just had to blow wind and take the ashes up into the air, which I am sure Haru wouldn't like.

Stupid gods.

~.~.~.~

I chugged down my whiskey. It was warm and it was setting my throat and lungs on fire.

Even my heart.

I sat in front of the empty grave. Haru's empty grave.

His picture was there, a picture which didn't show any signs of a smile unless you squinted really, really hard. I could tell though. His shoulders were much more relaxed, his posture wasn't too straight. There was a hint of his lips curling up at the sides.

Out of my jacket pocket, I took out a photo of Haru that I've taken at the hospital. He seemed embarrassed by such a sudden shot, blush dusting his cheeks, eyes wide. I traced my fingers over his face. He looks so beautiful. Ever since the first day I met him, he has been so.

I took another swing and finished the bottle in two more gulps. It tasted good.

Today is the 30th of June. Haru's birthday.

I've been coming here almost every day for the past three years.

Three years since Haru died.

"Yo, Haru." I looked long and hard at the picture on the grave.

"You know, a lot of things have happened today." No answer. But I was used to that.

I began telling Haru all about today's events. Whenever I ran out of things to say, I read the headlines from the newspaper.

The other families who come to visit the dead's graves must think I'm crazy.

Like that couple over there, they've been staring at me for a while.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! If only you were here, Haru. Look at their faces!

You know what Haru? I couldn't bring myself to go back to that hospital. I couldn't look at the pool next to it. I couldn't look at your special room in the hospital. That's because I would cry. I would be pained. That's because all I could see when I'm there is you.

I've got money, I'm out working now. Oh, and here's the good part. I bought your house!

Funny, isn't it? I couldn't stand going back to the hospital, but I can stand living in your house!

Maybe it's because that even if it hurts, I need to see you, Haru. I really need to see you. Even if it is just for a while.

I never touched your room. That's yours. I understand your privacy.

I live in one of the spare rooms instead. The one with the small window and big table.

I miss you Haru.

I miss you until it hurts. I miss you until I'm crying almost every night when I can feel your ghost in the house. I miss you until I've even thought about killing myself just to be with you.

I miss you so much...

Why did it have to be you, Haru?

Why?

Why?!

**Crappy ending, I know. But I'm thinking of writing a sequel to this. If anyone wants to read the sequel, please let me know through the reviews! **

**Thank you all for reading, favouriting and reviewing my story! **

**Until next time!**


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